2010 May, 1st

Sheepy

When news about Tiger Woods’ transgressions came out, one of the people who hurried to defend the golfer was Obama. Back in January, in an interview with People magazine, the President Barack Obama stated that Tiger Woods can “absolutely” be rehabilitated. And now, less than five months after, news about the President of similar nature surfaced, followed by incredible details: name of the female involved, date, location… The two cents tabloid media of the web has now joined hands in a joyful incantation:

Barack and Vera sitting in a tree:
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
then comes the baby in the golden carriage!

This is what happens when there’s nothing interesting to report about: they make news. According to some, Vera Baker was the Finance Director for Barack Obama’s 2004 Illinois Senate campaign. A presumable affair between Baker and Obama was reported in 2008, with even more precise details. For the inquisitive mind, there is an article titled The Lady Vanishes in the Confederate Yankee, dated October 29, 2008. Most of the information about the illicit affair between Obama and Baker was given by public relations and communications firm called McLean Clark (apparently looking for some fame at the moment. You don’t just break such news out of altruism for the good of mankind, sheepkind, or any other kind!).  Apparently, its director functioned as a driver for Baker and Obama on May 18, 2004, when Obama came to Washington, DC on a fundraising trip. The Confederate Yankee goes on, describing every detail of the alleged affair (minus the dirty details, of course). Interestingly, when news of a possible affair between her and the Presidential candidate surfaced, Vera Baker vanished. (We learned from confidential sources of sheep kind, that the lady was at the hairdresser’s to be sheared.)

“In and of itself, the fact that Ms. Baker went back to Mr. Obama’s hotel the night of May 18, 2004 is not proof of an extramarital affair. But the subsequent mysterious disappearance of Vera Baker is surprising, and perhaps suggestive,” – the Confederate Yankee wisely writes. The publication also reports that Baker-Wambu & Associates shut down in 2006 (with such a business name, anybody should shut down) and that Vera Baker’s latest business venture, a consultancy named Cape Caribbean, LLC, pulled its web site offline in 2008, right when the news about the affair came out.

There are many mysteries around this lady, and around the whole affair. According to other sources, back in 2004 Claire Serdiuk was Obama’s Finance Director. This leaves us wondering who was the affair… uhm… financial talking going on with?

Guilty for fabricating the news today is the National Enquirer, which wrote:

PRESIDENT OBAMA has been caught in a shocking cheating scandal after being caught in a Washington, DC Hotel with a former campaign aide, sources say.

And now, a hush-hush security video that shows everything could topple both Obama’s presidency and marriage to Michelle!

A confidential investigation has learned that Obama first became close to gorgeous 35 year-old VERA BAKER in 2004 when she worked tirelessly to get him elected to the US Senate, raising millions in campaign contributions.

Now, the National Enquirer website is down, which raises even more questions. But for this sheep the things are pretty clear: it’s Saturday, there are no incendiary news, something had to be done. The way the news is going, we will next learn about an affair between the Pope and a nun, the Dalai Lama and Oprah, Sheepy and the wolf, and God knows who in China. Sheepy out.

Editor’s note: Sheepy writes satirical editorials. Everything PR has not power over the sheep, and can not edit, modify, delete or otherwise censor Sheepy materials. If you want to post a comment, do it at your own risk, and always remember that you will be, in fact, talking to a sheep.

• 2010/05/14 -- The Right Strategy for BP’s Oil Leak Problems: Less Talk, More Action
• 2010/05/04 -- Is Vera Baker’s Real Name Irene Schwoeffermann? [Images]
• 2010/02/19 -- Joe Stack’s Mission, Step Back and Look America
• 2010/01/14 -- PR Boost for Tiger Woods, from Barack Obama, no Less

About the Author

Sheepy was born Sheepy Bell Butler Víctor María de Todos los Santos Teódulo de Franco y Bahamonde August 16th, 1812. An honor graduate of Columbia University class of 1964 with contemporary Clark Hoyt (Editor NYT's). Sheepy attained her MA from Stanford in 66 along with notable classmate Ted Koppel of Nightline fame. No kidding. Her early journalism career was interrupted when she joined the Central Intelligence Agency (to user her obvious acumen) in 1968. Sheepy underwent top secret Avatar persona transplant in 1968 when she was the cryptology liaison from the CIY to Israeli intelligence. Not until James Cameron's recent revelation of Avatar technology has Sheepy been at liberty to reveal her identity. She an editorial Editor at Everything PR News. Upcoming bylines for Sheepy reveal her dedication to truth and clarity in online news. Sheepy's up close and personal rhetorical are designed to take the world by storm, "One Sheep at a Time."

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