Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Stoned on the Mall

Yesterday two of America’s most important people, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, led a 70′s type rally to help restore American’s sanity – sort of. With Obama doing last minute play-by-play for the Democrats, and the U.S. Capitol awash with the last minute vote getting jitters, something else just had to be done. Looks like a time to light up a fatty.

Satellite gatherings around the country, no telling how many supporters gathered on The Mall to join these comedians in basically taking SNL to the next level. The so called “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” will no doubt be a rallying point in history for? For? For something. Though what, we are pretty sure not too many know.

Oh, a protest against angry media maybe? If you feel lost reading this, imagine my consternation being a political scientist. Stewart and Colbert rallied no telling how many hundreds of thousands to make fun of angry Tea Party, Republican, and even Democratic parties? And then the white peeps out in the crowd decided to burn one (or ten) – a la Woodstock. No, no, a demonstration to restore moderation?

I have been reading the stories about this rally all morning, and still I cannot find out what all these people are so determined to do? Oh wait! I found a sign in an image at the Boston Globe – they want moderation – Eureka. “Now pass that joint over to me my friend.” Never in my life have I wished more I were a radical Black Panther type or a stoic conservative war monger – anything but human spaghetti ready to fade into a cloud of hashish smoke for another decade.

The last time “Make Love Not War” was the cry the money lenders took over the nation completely – and cast America down with Sodom and Gomorrah – good Lord.

The Globe talked to one nice lady (fresh back from her trip to Disney) who chided:

“Politicians don’t make sense any more. They can’t debate and get distracted by other issues that are not crucial.’’

The Boston reporter left out the next comment; “Hey, has anyone got roach clip?” DISTRACTED? Those sweet and caring Senators would debate the issues, they would try and save the country from the pit of hell, but they got distracted. OMFG. One lady who was passing out doughnut holes at the Boston satellite rally professed her “worship” of Stewart – now there’s some moderation for you! (At right a rare shot of the only African American within 10 miles of the Mall yesterday)

On stage Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock, not to mention the artist formerly known as Cat Stephens (Yusuf Islam), had their retroactive effect apparently. The dope fumes boggled the sparrows then old Cat and Ozzy Osbourne performed a duet – moderation in all things – even identity crisis. Cat, I mean Yusuf, was always one of my favorites, and I know he really believes America needs to get on the “Peace Train” again. But Yusuf, the last time almost did the country and the world in? Battling evil bastards with narrowed and sparkly eyes?

A little truth is a dangerous thing you know? Angry media, radical polarization within the party structures, Americans either poed or with their heads in the sand – and the middle stoned out of their mind. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Colbert and Stewart leading a love-fest with mediocrity – anything is superior to one’s behind in the middle of a picket fence. Let’s just sit down here and think about our homelessness shall we? Is this the 2010 version of pacification of the young masses? The focus is off just a bit I think.

A call to high fence riding is no better than stoic conservative lunacy

One guy, speaking to the Washington Post, reflected on the situation after his long drive from Wisconsin – yep Wisconsin, now that’s dedication at least:

“I find it incredibly ironic that I had to come to a rally sponsored by a comedian to get at the truth.”

“He has driven here from Wisconsin, and do you know what he found? He has come seeking the truth, and has found it in us!” Can anyone reading this actually fathom what is happening? Okay, my rant is sufficiently exhausted for now. But following lastly at the convenient shopping link on the Relly site,  Comedy Central was not so smoked up as to pass up a monetization scheme – “get your red hot BS moderate gear right here!” Hey, just who is behind all this “peaceful” “all things in moderation” talk any way – astute business peeps?

Comedy Central's convenient bling gallery - a fund for free dope perhaps?

Can’t be any Republicans over there can there? Give me a break. If you are an American and are not hacked off, you are either A – a crook, or B – stoned. Phil out for now. I leave you with Peace Train.